After college, he became a lawyer, fathered three children (now 13, 15, and 18), and started his own law firm with a colleague. Perhaps to overcome his shame, he excelled academically, medicated himself with alcohol, and married a Roman Catholic woman his parents considered the perfect mate for him. He described a long struggle with his sexual orientation, growing up in a devoutly Roman Catholic family, where he learned that his sexual attraction to men was cause for eternal damnation. Just out of alcohol rehabilitation treatment, he'd begun attending AA meetings, where he'd shared parts of his story. Rob had been referred by a former client of mine he'd met in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I knew this was not Rob's first experience in therapy and that a lot was riding on what I was about to say. As he paused, awaiting my response, quite honestly, I was awaiting my response as well. He sighed and began: 'Okay, I'm gay, I'm married, I have three kids, and I'm not getting divorced.' He'd shared some of this information with me in our phone conversation, but I was still struck by the sense of hopelessness in his tone. He set his bags down, gently put his Blackberry on the table in front of him, and heaved himself onto the couch.
Rob rushed into his first session with me, gym bag on one shoulder, briefcase on the other, 10 minutes late and out of breath.
